Post by Eli Buchanan on Jan 7, 2018 23:24:47 GMT -5
The announcing team of Greg Stradford and “Big Bad” Paul Carlyle greet all of us to “PWGP: Charge”, as we go live from the Alerus Centre in Grand Forks, North Dakota. “New Orleans Is Falling” starts playing and the crowd pops as “The Last Dragon” Eli Buchanan comes out on stage and marches down to the ring. Ring announcer, Nick Christoulos tosses him the mic as he enters and the two high five before Nick leaves the ring.
Eli wastes no time calling Kraken out and states they don’t have to wait for the end of the show to have their match. They can start it right now! The crowd cheers and starts chanting “Yes”, as Eli paces around the ring waiting for a response.
Saul Asper comes out on stage flanked by True North Ant and The Agents of Pain. As the Grand Forks crowd chants “You Suck” at him and his associates, Asper explains that Kraken isn’t here. He’s come down with a terrible stomach virus and won’t be able to compete tonight. Asper plays up that Kraken wanted to compete here tonight regardless of his health but he forced Kraken to remain at home to recuperate.
There’s a bit of back and forth between Asper and Buchanan, before Robert Fredrick arrives and questions whether Kraken is truly ill. When Asper produces a sick note, Fredrick suggests this means that Kraken has forfeited and Eli Buchanan is now back in the Lethal Lottery at “Battle Bowl”. Asper protests, stating that Kraken will be able to compete next week and asks the match be postponed. Fredrick agrees, on one condition, Tonight, someone of Asper’s choosing will face Eli Buchanan, if they lose then next not only will Eli be back in the Lethal Lottery if he beats Kraken, if Eli wins all the members of the members of Asper’s Army will be out of the Lethal Lottery.
The crowd chants “Yes” once more as Robert Fredrick takes his leave. The announcers put over how huge the ratifications of this announcement are as all the members of Asper’s Army are freaking out on stage. Eli stands inside the ring looking very pleased with this decision as we go to our first commercial break.
***
We return from break to find the Moondogs, Things Uno and Dos, and members of Surf ‘n Turf arguing with one another. Officials and security rush into to break the three teams apart. Finally, Robert Fredrick arrives, vivid at the scene. He yells at all three teams to restrain themselves before confronting Surf ‘n Turf of their actions last week. Vod and Zaros try to blame it on the bald head janitor who spoke with them last week, but Robert Fredrick says there are no bald-headed janitors working for them.
He tells the three teams that if they want to fight, he’ll let them. He announces that there will be two Three Way Dance matches, the first between Vod, Thing Uno and Moondog Runt, and another one later tonight featuring the remaining members of each team. Robert Fredrick tells them the first match starts now and orders everyone to get a move on.
As the three teams scramble to leave, Robert Fredrick shakes his head and sighs. The bald-headed man with the mop and bucket walks by and tell him this place is like a zoo. Robert agrees before staring blankly at the man. Before he can ask any questions though, the man excuses himself, explaining that someone just threw up and that his job was never done. Confused, Fredrick watches him walk away, before dialling a number on his cell phone and asking “Deedee” if they have a bald-headed janitor on their payroll.
***
MATCH 1
3 Way Dance
Vod (0-0-0)
vs
Thing Uno (0-0-1)
vs
Moondog Runt (0-0-1)
All three men are already in the ring as Nick Christoulos makes the introductions and informs us to win a 3 Way Dance match, the other two competitors must be eliminated. Before the bell rings, the announcers point out that The Guru is not here is this week, leaving them to wonder if he is still recovering from being sprayed in the face with GRIM’s black mist last week.
At the sound of the bell, Thing Uno and Moondog Runt immediately decide to put their differences aside and go after Vod. The two of them begin double teaming him and push him into the corner. The team effort is short lived however as Vod catches Runt with a stiff clothesline after the former is Irish whipped into him by Uno. Thing Uno is then taken down with another clothesline. Over the next few minutes Vod uses his size and strength advantage to remain in control, with neither of his opponents able to regain control.
The momentum briefly changes as Vod misses an avalanche splash to Thing Uno in the corner. Uno and Runt working together are able to take him down, but their past hostilities get the better of them and they start brawling rather than putting their larger opponent away. This costs them in the end as Vod gets to his get to his feet and bulldozes over both of them. He whips Uno in to the ropes and goes for a backbody drop, but Uno counters with an attempted sunset flip. Vod blocks the pin attempts and as Runt charges in, scoops him up and delivers the Deep Six, driving Runt’s head into Uno’s chest. With both men down and out, Vod pins them at the same time and eliminates both of them.
Winner: Vod (2 points)
The announcer put over the dominant performance by Vod and inform us that the other 3 Way Dance will occur right after the break. We’re left watching Vod celebrate in the ring with Zaros as we go to commercials.
***
Back from break and we quickly go to the back, where the members of Asper’s Army are arguing over which of them is best served to face Eli Buchanan tonight. Asper is about to announce who is going to face Buchanan, when Robert Fredrick arrives with security and states he just got off the phone with member of the Buck U Athletic Commission. Since True North Ant violated his suspension last week, he’s being immediately escorted out of the building and if he doesn’t comply he will be suspended until further notice and will not be part of the Lethal Lottery at “Battle Bowl” in two weeks. True North Ant tries to protest, but Asper tells him it’s ok and that he should leave because they’ll need him at in the Lethal Lottery to insure their victory. TNA agrees reluctantly and is escorted out.
As he leaves, Fredrick asks which of the Agents of Pain will face Buchanan tonight and Asper states that they both will, in a handicap match where Eli would have to eliminate them both. He has a smug look on his face, believing he’s gotten one over on Fredrick, but Fredrick smiles right back and congratulates him on the idea, before taking his leave.
***
MATCH 2
3 Way Dance
Zaros (0-0-0)
vs
Thing Dos (0-0-0)
vs
Moondog Buster (0-0-0)
Down at ringside and we’re ready for the second 3 Way Dance match of the night. Right at the opening bell Zaros tries to form an alliance with Buster to eliminate Thing Dos first, but Buster doesn’t want anything to do with it and headbutts the goblin right out of the ring. He turns his attention to Thing Dos and the two immediately start brawling. It doesn’t take long for Moondog Buster to take control and uses his strength advantage to punish Dos with a series of body slams, followed up with an elbow drop for a near fall. Zaros attempts to get back into the match but almost immediately is tossed back out by Buster, as he continues to wear down Thing Dos.
Moondog Buster lifts Ting Dos up for a vertical suplex and drops him chest first across the top rope. He goes for a second, but Zaros grabs his leg from outside the ring and trips him. The injured Dos lands on top of Buster, and as Zaros holds Buster’s feet down from outside the ring, Thing Dos gets the pinfall.
Zaros has no time to celebrate as an enraged Moondog Runt rushes down to the ring to try to get him. The goblin is able to escape before Runt can get him, but this leads to Vod and Thing Uno making their way down to the ring. A brawl starts outside the ring featuring both Moondogs, Thing Uno and Vod.
Meanwhile back in the ring, the match continues. At first Zaros tries to take advantage of the damage Buster had done, but Thing Dos quickly recovers and takes control. The brawl on the outside of the ring leads several officials to get involved, and while referee, Andy Roller is distracted, Vod slips into the ring and nearly takes Dos’s head off with a clothesline. When the referee turns around it is to see Zaros coming off the middle rope with “The Life Tree Down” Blockbuster neck breaker, which leads to the goblin picking up the victory.
Winner: Zaros (1 point)
Zaros escapes the ring as Thing Uno and the Moondogs rush in. Both members of Surf ‘n Turf exits through the crowd, celebrating their big wins, as the other two teams argue in amongst themselves and show their frustration over being beaten by the two rookies. We’re left with the image of Zaros and Vod laughing at their opponents as we go to a commercial break.
***
We return from break to find Eli Buchanan lacing up his boots. Alan Hunter and the East K Connection enter and greet him. They thank him for having their back last week and promise to return the favour if the situation arrives. Eli admits that Saul threw a curve ball at him choosing to make the match tonight a handicap match, but he believes he needs to do whatever it takes to win tonight and stick it to his former manager and his goons.
Robert Fredrick comes in and apologises for the interruption. He asks to speak with Hunter, Sweet Daddy D and Easy E, and the three leave. Eli asks what’s going on, but Fredrick simply tells him to prepare for the match tonight and allow him to do his job.
***
Back at ringside Carlyle and Stradford speculate what this means, but they don’t have long to dwell on the subject because the number one contender’s match for the Television Title is about to begin.
MATCH 3
Cielo Guerrera (1-0-0)
vs
Bryant Adam Thompson (0-1-0)
The two high flyers shake hands at the start of the match. They take their time feeling one another out, with a series of headlock take overs and hip tosses, but soon the pace of the match picks up. Both men zig zag around the ring, dodging each other’s moves and countering each other’s arm drags ducking each others kicks. At first Thompson’s slight weight advantage assists him, as he’s able to use it to block a arm drag and go for an arm bar, but Guerrera is able to escape the hold and moments later hits a head scissors take over that causes Thompson to slide out of the ring. Guerrera goes for a suicide dive, but Thompson is able to avoid it by sliding back into the ring. Guerrera manages to roll through and land on his feet unscathed, only to turn around in time to see Thompson coming down on him with a springboard plancha.
With the crowd cheering loadly, Thompson rolls Guerrera back into the ring and presses his advantage. Using a series of kicks, he slowly breaks down the luchador’s guard before dropping him with a spin heel kick. He goes to the top rope, but the Mexican star rolls out of the ring to escape whatever the Notorious B.A.T. had planned for him. Thompson tries togo for a sliding drop kick, but Guerrera side steps it and hits a step up enziguri kick. With his opponent dazed, Cielo Guerrera rolls into the ring and using the momentum of the ropes, hits a running suicide dive, causing Thompson to crash back first into the barricade at ringside. Guerrera quickly slides into the ring and hits a second suicide dive before rolling Thompson back into the ring and signalling for his 630 splash. He takes too long climbing to the top rope, however, as Thompson manages to get up and crotches him on the top turnbuckle.
With the crowd behind him, Thompson climbs to the top rope and hits a huricanranna. He goes for the pin, but only gets a two count. Undeterred, Thompson leaps over the top rope and on to the ring apron. He springboards up onto the top rope, spins in the air to land on the rope facing the crowd and goes for the Phoenix Splash. Sadly, there’s no water in the pool, as Guerrara rolls out for harm’s way at the last moment. Rather than risk a high risk move of his own, the luchadore seizes the opportunity to use La magistral to roll Thompson for the three count, shocking both this opponent and the live crowd.
Winner: and #1 contender for the PWGP Television Championship, Cielo Guerrera (2 points)
Following the match, the crowd applauds both competitors. Thompson, while upset over the loss, congratulate Guerrera on the victory and the two shake hands. Stradford points out how great a sportsman he is as Thompson raises Guerrera’s hand, but Carlyle notes he thinks Thompson should blindside the luchadore and stomp him. Stardford can only shake his head at his broadcast partner’s antics and tells us the Televison Title match is coming up next after the break.
***
Before the next match, a jolly giant makes his way down to ringside and starts handing out gifts to the children in attendance. Is it Santa Claus. No… ok, maybe it it is under that mask of his, but to the wrestling world it is the giant known as Brutus Smith, who takes a lot of pleasure out of celebrating the holiday season.
“Three Blind Mice” starts playing and Goober the Gooker, PWGP’s resident turkey, comes out with a sign protesting eating his turkey brethren for Christmas. He makes the mistake of confronting Brute, as the big man makes his way into the ring and starts tossing the remainder of his toys into the crowd. The masked giant isn’t having any of it and choke slams Goober in the centre of the ring. Perhaps the move might not be popular with the vegans in the crowd, but Brute’s never been one to be politically correct. Plus, it seems to delight the live crowd and all the kids in attendance.
Not wanting to hold up any further time, Brutus Smith leaves the ring. Before he goes, he drags Goober out and tosses him over his shoulder, carrying him to the back as he waves to the live crowd. With the both of them gone the show can continue.
MATCH 4
Televison Title Match
(c)Faititili (2-0-0)
vs
GRIM (1-0-0)
Nick Christoulos doesn’t even get a chance to make his ring introductions fot the Television Champion before GRIM attacks Faititli with a Yakuza kick and tries to get a quick pinfall victory. The Samoan wrestler is able to kick out at the last second, but GRIM doesn’t allow him time to regain his composure, immediately locking in a nerve hold to the side of the neck. Faititlil manages to reach out for the rope and referee, Jose Doe, orders GRIM to release the move. The Japanese mystic doesn’t at first, feigning not to speak English very well, but eventually does as Doe begins to administer the count.
The referee produces a yellow card, warning GRIM he will be disqualified if he continues to ignore his instructions. He orders the Japanese star to go stand in the far corner, as Doe checks to make sure that Faititili is ok. The champions slowly gets to his feet and informs Doe he wants to continue. Seeing this, GRIM charges right at him, and catches a super kick to the jaw for his troubles. Faititli immediately pounces on him and begins to lay in with a series of punches. Doe orders him to stop and begins the count, and Faititili quickly gets off GRIM, who quickly rolls out of the ring.
Jose Doe tries to get Faititili to remain in the ring as he begins to count out on GRIM, now standing on the arena floor. The champion is having none of it, rolling out of the side of the ring and catching GRIM with a running clothesline. He rolls GRIM back into the ring and goes for the pin, only getting a near fall. Faititili picks him up and whips him into the ropes for a back-body drop, but GRIM catches him with his head down and drops a stiff forearm smash across his back.
Over the next few minutes GRIM goes back to work on the neck and shoulder of the Television Champion, delivering a series of sharp elbow strikes to the side of the neck and locking back on the nerve hold. The move is effective, but Faititili refuses to submit to the hold. Realising the 10-minute time limit is quickly fading, GRIM decides to put the Samoan away. He releases the nerve hold and goads Faititli to get up. GRIM tries for a second Yakuza Kick, but the champ ducks and goes for a small package. He can’t hold the move well because of his injured shoulder and GRIM easily kicks out. The few seconds it takes for this exchange to occur allows Faititili to regain a bit of his bearings and as the two of them rise, he catches GRIM with a series of headbutts.
Doe orders him to release GRIM by the hair and to back off. Faititili backs off for a few seconds but moves back in to follow up on his advantage, and it is right then that GRIM spits the black mist right in his face in front of Jose Doe, who calls for the bell right away and tells Nick Christoulos he’s disqualifying GRIM for the illegal tactic. GRIM doesn’t seem to care though, as he locks back in the nerve hold on Faititili, who is already crying in pain from the mist in his eyes.
Winner: and still Televison Champion, Faititli (6 points)
The crowd suddenly pops as Cielo Guerrera runs down to ringside. GRIM sees him coming, but the luchadore manages to duck an attempted kick and hits a headlock scissor takeover that causes the Japanese star to roll out of the ring. Rather than try to get back in the ring, GRIM choses to leave as Guerrera and the officials check on Faititili. The look on his face tells the story, he’s satisfied with what he’s done.
Stardford informs us that we’re going to a commercial break and that we’ll have the main event when we return.
***
As we return from break, we’re told that Faititili will be fine. Instant replays show that the Television Champion manages to lower his head and his eyes did not take the full impact of the mist, which likely saved his vision. We’re told that Faititli will most likely be cleared to defend his championship next week but Robert Fredrick is already putting together a contingency plan should he be unable to do so. Stradford puts over how cowardly an attack this was and hopes that Fredrick suspends GRIM for his actions.
MATCH 5
Handicap Elimination Match
Eli Buchanan (0-1-0)
vs
Agent B (0-0-0) and Agent D (0-0-0)
It’s time for our main event. Saul Asper makes his way down to the ring first with the Agents of Pain. They await the arrival of Eli Buchanan, but it’s Robert Fredrick who comes out on stage. He suggests that Asper must of thought he was getting one over on him by placing both of the Agents in this match. Asper agrees, pointing to his head and saying he’s smarter than everyone. Fredrick reminds him of who is in charge here though.
Fredrick waves his hand and out comes Alan Hunter, The East K Connection, and Bryant Adam Thompson, all them carrying straps. As Asper and his men look on, Fredrick announces that all four of these men have grievances with Asper’s Army, so he was adding a stipulation to this handicap elimination match. It is now a lumberjack strap match, and these four men were given full disclosure to attack anyone who dared to exit the ring. Oh, and one more thing, Fredrick informs everyone, the Agents would have to treat this as by traditional tag team rules.
As the four lumberjacks slowly make their way down to ringside, Asper quickly exits the ring and joins the broadcast table, requesting that Stradford sacrifice himself as a human shield should any these “troglodytes” attempt to harm him. He and Paul Carlyle agree this situation is unfair and it’s clear that Robert Fredrick has it out for the Asper’s Army. Greg Stradford points out Mr Fredrick is only doing what’s in the best interest of fairness and Asper retorts that allowing the Army to go about their business unhindered by management here in PWGP.
Eli Buchanan makes his way down to the ring. Before entering, he walks around and fist bumps with all four lumberjacks, which Asper complains about and states if Fredrick was really wanting to be fair he would have allowed him to pick out a few lumberjacks of his own. Eli stops at the announce table and tries to go after Asper, who immediately hides behind Stradford, who yells for him to let go of his coat.
With one eye still on Asper, Eli climbs up the stairs and enters the ring. He’s immediately set upon by both of the Agents of Pain, who drive him into the corner and begin to lay kicks into his midsection. Referee Andrew Roller tries to get of them out of the ring but they both ignore him. Sweet Daddy D and Bryant Adam Thompson hop up on the apron, brandishing their leather straps, which causes the Agents to back away.
Asper asks how this is even fair and states he’s going make a formal protest with the Athletic Commision over this outrage.
Roller orders the two lumberjacks off the ring apron, which they quickly do. The Agents charge right back in, but Eli catches them both with a double clothesline. He waits for a groggy Agent B to stand up and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex and then ducks a clothesline from Agent D and German suplexes him on the back of his head. As Agent B gets back up, Eli charges and clotheslines him over the top rope, right at Alan Hunter’s feet. Eli then grabs Agent D and throws him over out to the floor at Easy E’s.
The crowd cheers as the Agents realize the predicament they’re in and they both try to get away, only to be set upon. The members of the Easy K Connection take turns taking shots across D’s back with their leather straps, while Thompson and Hunter do the same to B. The entire time, Asper is yelling at the top of his lungs over the injustice here.
Agent D manages to escape his tormentors, by rolling back into the ring. His attention remains on Sweet Daddy D and Easy E, however, and forgets about his opponent. Before he can do anything, Eli grabs him in a full nelson. He perfectly executes a Dragon Suplex with a bridge. Agent B tries to make the save, but Hunter and Thompson grab his legs as he tries to crawl into the ring. He finally kicks free of their grip, but by this point Andrew Roller has already counted three.
Eli doesn’t have chance to celebrate eliminating one of his opponents, as Agent B attacks him with a kick to the side as he tries to get up. Soon both Agents are stomping away at him again, as Andrew Roller tries to get Agent D to leave. The referee is shoved aside as the Agents pick Eli up and hit their Double Flapjack, dropping Eli throat first across the top rope.
Roller warns Agent D to get out of the ring now, or he will disqualify Agent B. Asper is laughing at the announce table and waves for D to come. Agent D quickly leaves the ring. The lumberjacks are able to catch him with a few strikes with their leather straps before he and Asper escape through the crowd.
Greg Stradford tells us we have to go to our final break, as we Agent B cotinues his assault on Eli Buchanan. There’s one last shot of Asper and Agent D laughing from amongst the crowd before we go to commercials.
***
Back from break and find Agents B has Eli Buchanan grounded with a side headlock in the middle of the ring. We’re told by the announcers that it’s been all Agent B on offense during the commercial break. Paul Carlyle points out that there can’t be much left in Buchanan. We see a replay of him going throat first across the top rope from the Double Flapjack by the Agents of pain.
Referee Andrew Roller is checking to make sure that Eli can continue and makes sure the headlock positioned under his chin, rather than across his throat. The lumberjacks around the ring start pound on the ring apron, trying to cheer Eli on, as the crowd claps along in unison.
Eli slowly starts to attempt to get back into the match, trying to get off the mat. Agent B puts a quick stop to it, letting go of the headlock, only to drive a knee into Eli’s side and put the headlock back on.
Stradford admits that he might not like the tactics Agent B and the other members of Asper’s Army are known for, but he can’t fault the strategy being used here. Carlyle, a twenty-year vet of the squared circle, agrees and downright applauds everything Agent B has done so far.
While the announcers are discussing this, Eli suddenly rolls over and tries to pin Agent B with a school boy roll up. Agent B kicks out at one and transitions back into the side headlock. Once more Eli counters into a school boy. This time B rolls through to his feet and tries to drop an elbow on hi. Eli manages to roll out of the way and dodges a second attempted elbow drop before finally getting to his feet.
The crowd cheers as Eli starts lying in some chops to Agent B’s chest, but B fires back with a knee to the gut and Irish whips him across the ring. Agent B goes for a back body drop but Eli transitions it through into a sunset flip and gets a two count. Both men to their feet and Agent B swings wildly at Eli, but the Last Dragon blocks it and lies in a series of chops. Eli tries to throw Agent B over the top rope, but B reverses it and Eli tumbles to the floor.
The lumberjacks surround Eli, but rather than whipping him with the straps, they help him to his feet. Agent D, along with Surf ’N Turf and GRIM charge down to the ring and blindside the lumberjacks. This leads to the whole locker room emptying and a huge brawl takes place at ringside, as Saul Asper smiles smugly on the entrance ramp.
Eli Buchanan rolls back into the ring and is kicked by Agent B. He pulls Buchanan up into a front chancery and signals to Asper he’s going to finish him off. Before he can hit his finisher, however, Eli spins out of the front face lock and scooping Agent B up, hits the Chaos Driver, to a hug pop from the Grand Forks crowd.
Eli goes for the pin, but suddenly a figure slides into the ring and attacks him. The man is quickly recognised by the announcers, who inform everyone watching it’s “Iron” Mack Brody. Referee Andrew Roller calls for the bell, disqualifying Agent B and awarding the victory to Eli Buchanan, but the Last Dragon doesn’t look like a winner as Brody drives him shoulder first into a ring post. Brody lifts Eli up and hits the Iron Cross. He goes for a second, but several of the baby faces roll into the ring.
Winner: Eli Buchanan (2 points)
Brody and Agent B bail from the ring and go to join Asper and Agent D on the entrance ramp. As trainers check on Eli, Asper’s Army raises their hands in unison and the commentators are left wondering if Eli Buchanan will be in any shape to compete next week.
We go to the back, in Robert Fredrick’s office, where he’s watching what has just occurred. He turns to his assistant, Deedee and tells her to go make a few calls. Next week it will be Eli Buchanan vs Kraken in a cage match. She quickly runs off to make the arrangements.
The commentators put over this huge announcement and Stradford reminds us next week we’ll also see Faititili will also defend the Television Title against Cielo Gurrerea.
We’re left with Eli Buchanan slowly getting to his feet, with help from the trainers and some of the other competitors. The question of whether he can compete next week is left in the air as the show fades to black.
Eli wastes no time calling Kraken out and states they don’t have to wait for the end of the show to have their match. They can start it right now! The crowd cheers and starts chanting “Yes”, as Eli paces around the ring waiting for a response.
Saul Asper comes out on stage flanked by True North Ant and The Agents of Pain. As the Grand Forks crowd chants “You Suck” at him and his associates, Asper explains that Kraken isn’t here. He’s come down with a terrible stomach virus and won’t be able to compete tonight. Asper plays up that Kraken wanted to compete here tonight regardless of his health but he forced Kraken to remain at home to recuperate.
There’s a bit of back and forth between Asper and Buchanan, before Robert Fredrick arrives and questions whether Kraken is truly ill. When Asper produces a sick note, Fredrick suggests this means that Kraken has forfeited and Eli Buchanan is now back in the Lethal Lottery at “Battle Bowl”. Asper protests, stating that Kraken will be able to compete next week and asks the match be postponed. Fredrick agrees, on one condition, Tonight, someone of Asper’s choosing will face Eli Buchanan, if they lose then next not only will Eli be back in the Lethal Lottery if he beats Kraken, if Eli wins all the members of the members of Asper’s Army will be out of the Lethal Lottery.
The crowd chants “Yes” once more as Robert Fredrick takes his leave. The announcers put over how huge the ratifications of this announcement are as all the members of Asper’s Army are freaking out on stage. Eli stands inside the ring looking very pleased with this decision as we go to our first commercial break.
***
We return from break to find the Moondogs, Things Uno and Dos, and members of Surf ‘n Turf arguing with one another. Officials and security rush into to break the three teams apart. Finally, Robert Fredrick arrives, vivid at the scene. He yells at all three teams to restrain themselves before confronting Surf ‘n Turf of their actions last week. Vod and Zaros try to blame it on the bald head janitor who spoke with them last week, but Robert Fredrick says there are no bald-headed janitors working for them.
He tells the three teams that if they want to fight, he’ll let them. He announces that there will be two Three Way Dance matches, the first between Vod, Thing Uno and Moondog Runt, and another one later tonight featuring the remaining members of each team. Robert Fredrick tells them the first match starts now and orders everyone to get a move on.
As the three teams scramble to leave, Robert Fredrick shakes his head and sighs. The bald-headed man with the mop and bucket walks by and tell him this place is like a zoo. Robert agrees before staring blankly at the man. Before he can ask any questions though, the man excuses himself, explaining that someone just threw up and that his job was never done. Confused, Fredrick watches him walk away, before dialling a number on his cell phone and asking “Deedee” if they have a bald-headed janitor on their payroll.
***
MATCH 1
3 Way Dance
Vod (0-0-0)
vs
Thing Uno (0-0-1)
vs
Moondog Runt (0-0-1)
All three men are already in the ring as Nick Christoulos makes the introductions and informs us to win a 3 Way Dance match, the other two competitors must be eliminated. Before the bell rings, the announcers point out that The Guru is not here is this week, leaving them to wonder if he is still recovering from being sprayed in the face with GRIM’s black mist last week.
At the sound of the bell, Thing Uno and Moondog Runt immediately decide to put their differences aside and go after Vod. The two of them begin double teaming him and push him into the corner. The team effort is short lived however as Vod catches Runt with a stiff clothesline after the former is Irish whipped into him by Uno. Thing Uno is then taken down with another clothesline. Over the next few minutes Vod uses his size and strength advantage to remain in control, with neither of his opponents able to regain control.
The momentum briefly changes as Vod misses an avalanche splash to Thing Uno in the corner. Uno and Runt working together are able to take him down, but their past hostilities get the better of them and they start brawling rather than putting their larger opponent away. This costs them in the end as Vod gets to his get to his feet and bulldozes over both of them. He whips Uno in to the ropes and goes for a backbody drop, but Uno counters with an attempted sunset flip. Vod blocks the pin attempts and as Runt charges in, scoops him up and delivers the Deep Six, driving Runt’s head into Uno’s chest. With both men down and out, Vod pins them at the same time and eliminates both of them.
Winner: Vod (2 points)
The announcer put over the dominant performance by Vod and inform us that the other 3 Way Dance will occur right after the break. We’re left watching Vod celebrate in the ring with Zaros as we go to commercials.
***
Back from break and we quickly go to the back, where the members of Asper’s Army are arguing over which of them is best served to face Eli Buchanan tonight. Asper is about to announce who is going to face Buchanan, when Robert Fredrick arrives with security and states he just got off the phone with member of the Buck U Athletic Commission. Since True North Ant violated his suspension last week, he’s being immediately escorted out of the building and if he doesn’t comply he will be suspended until further notice and will not be part of the Lethal Lottery at “Battle Bowl” in two weeks. True North Ant tries to protest, but Asper tells him it’s ok and that he should leave because they’ll need him at in the Lethal Lottery to insure their victory. TNA agrees reluctantly and is escorted out.
As he leaves, Fredrick asks which of the Agents of Pain will face Buchanan tonight and Asper states that they both will, in a handicap match where Eli would have to eliminate them both. He has a smug look on his face, believing he’s gotten one over on Fredrick, but Fredrick smiles right back and congratulates him on the idea, before taking his leave.
***
MATCH 2
3 Way Dance
Zaros (0-0-0)
vs
Thing Dos (0-0-0)
vs
Moondog Buster (0-0-0)
Down at ringside and we’re ready for the second 3 Way Dance match of the night. Right at the opening bell Zaros tries to form an alliance with Buster to eliminate Thing Dos first, but Buster doesn’t want anything to do with it and headbutts the goblin right out of the ring. He turns his attention to Thing Dos and the two immediately start brawling. It doesn’t take long for Moondog Buster to take control and uses his strength advantage to punish Dos with a series of body slams, followed up with an elbow drop for a near fall. Zaros attempts to get back into the match but almost immediately is tossed back out by Buster, as he continues to wear down Thing Dos.
Moondog Buster lifts Ting Dos up for a vertical suplex and drops him chest first across the top rope. He goes for a second, but Zaros grabs his leg from outside the ring and trips him. The injured Dos lands on top of Buster, and as Zaros holds Buster’s feet down from outside the ring, Thing Dos gets the pinfall.
Zaros has no time to celebrate as an enraged Moondog Runt rushes down to the ring to try to get him. The goblin is able to escape before Runt can get him, but this leads to Vod and Thing Uno making their way down to the ring. A brawl starts outside the ring featuring both Moondogs, Thing Uno and Vod.
Meanwhile back in the ring, the match continues. At first Zaros tries to take advantage of the damage Buster had done, but Thing Dos quickly recovers and takes control. The brawl on the outside of the ring leads several officials to get involved, and while referee, Andy Roller is distracted, Vod slips into the ring and nearly takes Dos’s head off with a clothesline. When the referee turns around it is to see Zaros coming off the middle rope with “The Life Tree Down” Blockbuster neck breaker, which leads to the goblin picking up the victory.
Winner: Zaros (1 point)
Zaros escapes the ring as Thing Uno and the Moondogs rush in. Both members of Surf ‘n Turf exits through the crowd, celebrating their big wins, as the other two teams argue in amongst themselves and show their frustration over being beaten by the two rookies. We’re left with the image of Zaros and Vod laughing at their opponents as we go to a commercial break.
***
We return from break to find Eli Buchanan lacing up his boots. Alan Hunter and the East K Connection enter and greet him. They thank him for having their back last week and promise to return the favour if the situation arrives. Eli admits that Saul threw a curve ball at him choosing to make the match tonight a handicap match, but he believes he needs to do whatever it takes to win tonight and stick it to his former manager and his goons.
Robert Fredrick comes in and apologises for the interruption. He asks to speak with Hunter, Sweet Daddy D and Easy E, and the three leave. Eli asks what’s going on, but Fredrick simply tells him to prepare for the match tonight and allow him to do his job.
***
Back at ringside Carlyle and Stradford speculate what this means, but they don’t have long to dwell on the subject because the number one contender’s match for the Television Title is about to begin.
MATCH 3
Cielo Guerrera (1-0-0)
vs
Bryant Adam Thompson (0-1-0)
The two high flyers shake hands at the start of the match. They take their time feeling one another out, with a series of headlock take overs and hip tosses, but soon the pace of the match picks up. Both men zig zag around the ring, dodging each other’s moves and countering each other’s arm drags ducking each others kicks. At first Thompson’s slight weight advantage assists him, as he’s able to use it to block a arm drag and go for an arm bar, but Guerrera is able to escape the hold and moments later hits a head scissors take over that causes Thompson to slide out of the ring. Guerrera goes for a suicide dive, but Thompson is able to avoid it by sliding back into the ring. Guerrera manages to roll through and land on his feet unscathed, only to turn around in time to see Thompson coming down on him with a springboard plancha.
With the crowd cheering loadly, Thompson rolls Guerrera back into the ring and presses his advantage. Using a series of kicks, he slowly breaks down the luchador’s guard before dropping him with a spin heel kick. He goes to the top rope, but the Mexican star rolls out of the ring to escape whatever the Notorious B.A.T. had planned for him. Thompson tries togo for a sliding drop kick, but Guerrera side steps it and hits a step up enziguri kick. With his opponent dazed, Cielo Guerrera rolls into the ring and using the momentum of the ropes, hits a running suicide dive, causing Thompson to crash back first into the barricade at ringside. Guerrera quickly slides into the ring and hits a second suicide dive before rolling Thompson back into the ring and signalling for his 630 splash. He takes too long climbing to the top rope, however, as Thompson manages to get up and crotches him on the top turnbuckle.
With the crowd behind him, Thompson climbs to the top rope and hits a huricanranna. He goes for the pin, but only gets a two count. Undeterred, Thompson leaps over the top rope and on to the ring apron. He springboards up onto the top rope, spins in the air to land on the rope facing the crowd and goes for the Phoenix Splash. Sadly, there’s no water in the pool, as Guerrara rolls out for harm’s way at the last moment. Rather than risk a high risk move of his own, the luchadore seizes the opportunity to use La magistral to roll Thompson for the three count, shocking both this opponent and the live crowd.
Winner: and #1 contender for the PWGP Television Championship, Cielo Guerrera (2 points)
Following the match, the crowd applauds both competitors. Thompson, while upset over the loss, congratulate Guerrera on the victory and the two shake hands. Stradford points out how great a sportsman he is as Thompson raises Guerrera’s hand, but Carlyle notes he thinks Thompson should blindside the luchadore and stomp him. Stardford can only shake his head at his broadcast partner’s antics and tells us the Televison Title match is coming up next after the break.
***
Before the next match, a jolly giant makes his way down to ringside and starts handing out gifts to the children in attendance. Is it Santa Claus. No… ok, maybe it it is under that mask of his, but to the wrestling world it is the giant known as Brutus Smith, who takes a lot of pleasure out of celebrating the holiday season.
“Three Blind Mice” starts playing and Goober the Gooker, PWGP’s resident turkey, comes out with a sign protesting eating his turkey brethren for Christmas. He makes the mistake of confronting Brute, as the big man makes his way into the ring and starts tossing the remainder of his toys into the crowd. The masked giant isn’t having any of it and choke slams Goober in the centre of the ring. Perhaps the move might not be popular with the vegans in the crowd, but Brute’s never been one to be politically correct. Plus, it seems to delight the live crowd and all the kids in attendance.
Not wanting to hold up any further time, Brutus Smith leaves the ring. Before he goes, he drags Goober out and tosses him over his shoulder, carrying him to the back as he waves to the live crowd. With the both of them gone the show can continue.
MATCH 4
Televison Title Match
(c)Faititili (2-0-0)
vs
GRIM (1-0-0)
Nick Christoulos doesn’t even get a chance to make his ring introductions fot the Television Champion before GRIM attacks Faititli with a Yakuza kick and tries to get a quick pinfall victory. The Samoan wrestler is able to kick out at the last second, but GRIM doesn’t allow him time to regain his composure, immediately locking in a nerve hold to the side of the neck. Faititlil manages to reach out for the rope and referee, Jose Doe, orders GRIM to release the move. The Japanese mystic doesn’t at first, feigning not to speak English very well, but eventually does as Doe begins to administer the count.
The referee produces a yellow card, warning GRIM he will be disqualified if he continues to ignore his instructions. He orders the Japanese star to go stand in the far corner, as Doe checks to make sure that Faititili is ok. The champions slowly gets to his feet and informs Doe he wants to continue. Seeing this, GRIM charges right at him, and catches a super kick to the jaw for his troubles. Faititli immediately pounces on him and begins to lay in with a series of punches. Doe orders him to stop and begins the count, and Faititili quickly gets off GRIM, who quickly rolls out of the ring.
Jose Doe tries to get Faititili to remain in the ring as he begins to count out on GRIM, now standing on the arena floor. The champion is having none of it, rolling out of the side of the ring and catching GRIM with a running clothesline. He rolls GRIM back into the ring and goes for the pin, only getting a near fall. Faititili picks him up and whips him into the ropes for a back-body drop, but GRIM catches him with his head down and drops a stiff forearm smash across his back.
Over the next few minutes GRIM goes back to work on the neck and shoulder of the Television Champion, delivering a series of sharp elbow strikes to the side of the neck and locking back on the nerve hold. The move is effective, but Faititili refuses to submit to the hold. Realising the 10-minute time limit is quickly fading, GRIM decides to put the Samoan away. He releases the nerve hold and goads Faititli to get up. GRIM tries for a second Yakuza Kick, but the champ ducks and goes for a small package. He can’t hold the move well because of his injured shoulder and GRIM easily kicks out. The few seconds it takes for this exchange to occur allows Faititili to regain a bit of his bearings and as the two of them rise, he catches GRIM with a series of headbutts.
Doe orders him to release GRIM by the hair and to back off. Faititili backs off for a few seconds but moves back in to follow up on his advantage, and it is right then that GRIM spits the black mist right in his face in front of Jose Doe, who calls for the bell right away and tells Nick Christoulos he’s disqualifying GRIM for the illegal tactic. GRIM doesn’t seem to care though, as he locks back in the nerve hold on Faititili, who is already crying in pain from the mist in his eyes.
Winner: and still Televison Champion, Faititli (6 points)
The crowd suddenly pops as Cielo Guerrera runs down to ringside. GRIM sees him coming, but the luchadore manages to duck an attempted kick and hits a headlock scissor takeover that causes the Japanese star to roll out of the ring. Rather than try to get back in the ring, GRIM choses to leave as Guerrera and the officials check on Faititili. The look on his face tells the story, he’s satisfied with what he’s done.
Stardford informs us that we’re going to a commercial break and that we’ll have the main event when we return.
***
As we return from break, we’re told that Faititili will be fine. Instant replays show that the Television Champion manages to lower his head and his eyes did not take the full impact of the mist, which likely saved his vision. We’re told that Faititli will most likely be cleared to defend his championship next week but Robert Fredrick is already putting together a contingency plan should he be unable to do so. Stradford puts over how cowardly an attack this was and hopes that Fredrick suspends GRIM for his actions.
MATCH 5
Handicap Elimination Match
Eli Buchanan (0-1-0)
vs
Agent B (0-0-0) and Agent D (0-0-0)
It’s time for our main event. Saul Asper makes his way down to the ring first with the Agents of Pain. They await the arrival of Eli Buchanan, but it’s Robert Fredrick who comes out on stage. He suggests that Asper must of thought he was getting one over on him by placing both of the Agents in this match. Asper agrees, pointing to his head and saying he’s smarter than everyone. Fredrick reminds him of who is in charge here though.
Fredrick waves his hand and out comes Alan Hunter, The East K Connection, and Bryant Adam Thompson, all them carrying straps. As Asper and his men look on, Fredrick announces that all four of these men have grievances with Asper’s Army, so he was adding a stipulation to this handicap elimination match. It is now a lumberjack strap match, and these four men were given full disclosure to attack anyone who dared to exit the ring. Oh, and one more thing, Fredrick informs everyone, the Agents would have to treat this as by traditional tag team rules.
As the four lumberjacks slowly make their way down to ringside, Asper quickly exits the ring and joins the broadcast table, requesting that Stradford sacrifice himself as a human shield should any these “troglodytes” attempt to harm him. He and Paul Carlyle agree this situation is unfair and it’s clear that Robert Fredrick has it out for the Asper’s Army. Greg Stradford points out Mr Fredrick is only doing what’s in the best interest of fairness and Asper retorts that allowing the Army to go about their business unhindered by management here in PWGP.
Eli Buchanan makes his way down to the ring. Before entering, he walks around and fist bumps with all four lumberjacks, which Asper complains about and states if Fredrick was really wanting to be fair he would have allowed him to pick out a few lumberjacks of his own. Eli stops at the announce table and tries to go after Asper, who immediately hides behind Stradford, who yells for him to let go of his coat.
With one eye still on Asper, Eli climbs up the stairs and enters the ring. He’s immediately set upon by both of the Agents of Pain, who drive him into the corner and begin to lay kicks into his midsection. Referee Andrew Roller tries to get of them out of the ring but they both ignore him. Sweet Daddy D and Bryant Adam Thompson hop up on the apron, brandishing their leather straps, which causes the Agents to back away.
Asper asks how this is even fair and states he’s going make a formal protest with the Athletic Commision over this outrage.
Roller orders the two lumberjacks off the ring apron, which they quickly do. The Agents charge right back in, but Eli catches them both with a double clothesline. He waits for a groggy Agent B to stand up and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex and then ducks a clothesline from Agent D and German suplexes him on the back of his head. As Agent B gets back up, Eli charges and clotheslines him over the top rope, right at Alan Hunter’s feet. Eli then grabs Agent D and throws him over out to the floor at Easy E’s.
The crowd cheers as the Agents realize the predicament they’re in and they both try to get away, only to be set upon. The members of the Easy K Connection take turns taking shots across D’s back with their leather straps, while Thompson and Hunter do the same to B. The entire time, Asper is yelling at the top of his lungs over the injustice here.
Agent D manages to escape his tormentors, by rolling back into the ring. His attention remains on Sweet Daddy D and Easy E, however, and forgets about his opponent. Before he can do anything, Eli grabs him in a full nelson. He perfectly executes a Dragon Suplex with a bridge. Agent B tries to make the save, but Hunter and Thompson grab his legs as he tries to crawl into the ring. He finally kicks free of their grip, but by this point Andrew Roller has already counted three.
Eli doesn’t have chance to celebrate eliminating one of his opponents, as Agent B attacks him with a kick to the side as he tries to get up. Soon both Agents are stomping away at him again, as Andrew Roller tries to get Agent D to leave. The referee is shoved aside as the Agents pick Eli up and hit their Double Flapjack, dropping Eli throat first across the top rope.
Roller warns Agent D to get out of the ring now, or he will disqualify Agent B. Asper is laughing at the announce table and waves for D to come. Agent D quickly leaves the ring. The lumberjacks are able to catch him with a few strikes with their leather straps before he and Asper escape through the crowd.
Greg Stradford tells us we have to go to our final break, as we Agent B cotinues his assault on Eli Buchanan. There’s one last shot of Asper and Agent D laughing from amongst the crowd before we go to commercials.
***
Back from break and find Agents B has Eli Buchanan grounded with a side headlock in the middle of the ring. We’re told by the announcers that it’s been all Agent B on offense during the commercial break. Paul Carlyle points out that there can’t be much left in Buchanan. We see a replay of him going throat first across the top rope from the Double Flapjack by the Agents of pain.
Referee Andrew Roller is checking to make sure that Eli can continue and makes sure the headlock positioned under his chin, rather than across his throat. The lumberjacks around the ring start pound on the ring apron, trying to cheer Eli on, as the crowd claps along in unison.
Eli slowly starts to attempt to get back into the match, trying to get off the mat. Agent B puts a quick stop to it, letting go of the headlock, only to drive a knee into Eli’s side and put the headlock back on.
Stradford admits that he might not like the tactics Agent B and the other members of Asper’s Army are known for, but he can’t fault the strategy being used here. Carlyle, a twenty-year vet of the squared circle, agrees and downright applauds everything Agent B has done so far.
While the announcers are discussing this, Eli suddenly rolls over and tries to pin Agent B with a school boy roll up. Agent B kicks out at one and transitions back into the side headlock. Once more Eli counters into a school boy. This time B rolls through to his feet and tries to drop an elbow on hi. Eli manages to roll out of the way and dodges a second attempted elbow drop before finally getting to his feet.
The crowd cheers as Eli starts lying in some chops to Agent B’s chest, but B fires back with a knee to the gut and Irish whips him across the ring. Agent B goes for a back body drop but Eli transitions it through into a sunset flip and gets a two count. Both men to their feet and Agent B swings wildly at Eli, but the Last Dragon blocks it and lies in a series of chops. Eli tries to throw Agent B over the top rope, but B reverses it and Eli tumbles to the floor.
The lumberjacks surround Eli, but rather than whipping him with the straps, they help him to his feet. Agent D, along with Surf ’N Turf and GRIM charge down to the ring and blindside the lumberjacks. This leads to the whole locker room emptying and a huge brawl takes place at ringside, as Saul Asper smiles smugly on the entrance ramp.
Eli Buchanan rolls back into the ring and is kicked by Agent B. He pulls Buchanan up into a front chancery and signals to Asper he’s going to finish him off. Before he can hit his finisher, however, Eli spins out of the front face lock and scooping Agent B up, hits the Chaos Driver, to a hug pop from the Grand Forks crowd.
Eli goes for the pin, but suddenly a figure slides into the ring and attacks him. The man is quickly recognised by the announcers, who inform everyone watching it’s “Iron” Mack Brody. Referee Andrew Roller calls for the bell, disqualifying Agent B and awarding the victory to Eli Buchanan, but the Last Dragon doesn’t look like a winner as Brody drives him shoulder first into a ring post. Brody lifts Eli up and hits the Iron Cross. He goes for a second, but several of the baby faces roll into the ring.
Winner: Eli Buchanan (2 points)
Brody and Agent B bail from the ring and go to join Asper and Agent D on the entrance ramp. As trainers check on Eli, Asper’s Army raises their hands in unison and the commentators are left wondering if Eli Buchanan will be in any shape to compete next week.
We go to the back, in Robert Fredrick’s office, where he’s watching what has just occurred. He turns to his assistant, Deedee and tells her to go make a few calls. Next week it will be Eli Buchanan vs Kraken in a cage match. She quickly runs off to make the arrangements.
The commentators put over this huge announcement and Stradford reminds us next week we’ll also see Faititili will also defend the Television Title against Cielo Gurrerea.
We’re left with Eli Buchanan slowly getting to his feet, with help from the trainers and some of the other competitors. The question of whether he can compete next week is left in the air as the show fades to black.